esse quam videri

On my back, hidden from my own eyes, are the words esse quam videri.

To be, rather than to seem.

Tattooed on my back are the words esse quam videri.  It means, To be, rather than to seem.

I first learned the phrase on a highway sign shortly after I moved to North Carolina. I was selecting my license plate and there it was, apparently the state motto. I remember feeling vaguely validated, that this new place in which I had decided to start over was so enlightened.

I was raised in Kansas, and their motto is ad aspera per astra, which means, To the stars through difficulties. I have always loved it, and perhaps there is another tattoo in my future, but the point right now is this. Those two mottos have become my own life’s theme. Yes, there are difficulties, but I’m on my way to the stars dammit.

And now, finally, my life is REAL. Not just the illusion of reality. So now, etched in ink on my back where only i get to see it, is my little rebellion. Rebellion against a past that required pretense.

To be, rather than to seem.